Monday, 1 September 2014

V Festival Hyland Park 17th August 2014

We woke up early in a hotel somewhere after playing V festival in Stafford the night before.
 There was a posh supermarket round the corner doing a reasonably priced breakfast so we got well involved.
 We were in a bit of a rush so Eggsy decided to go and buy some Hi-Tec shoes across the other side of the town.
 And bang! we were at the services.
Then we drove for a bit and hit up South Mimms!
 It wasn't long before we were at the festival site, you can tell when you are getting near coz it's crawling with coppers.
As soon as be got back stage Mike Balls got the cocktails going!
 We spoke to a few people about stuff.
 Some of the boys stayed in the cabin trying to save energy for the show.
 Graham decided to get a haircut.
 DJ Killer Tomato met his favourite drum and bass singer Miss Becky Hill, he is in love with her.
 Then it was time to get involved and go find the stage.
 We went out into the crowd and met some heads.
 I think Oasis had just played or something.
 We were having a great time meeting the festival goers.
 Then, all of a sudden, it was all code red. The security guards, not happy with not actually being the real police, decided it was 1980 again and put us on lock down.
 After a few words they called base and confiscated our signs coz they thought we might cause a riot.
I felt incredibly sorry for these people.
 It didn't really matter coz there was more of us that there was of them and some of us ran away!
 We carried on our way to the stage.
 There was a lot of love out there.
 There were some good looks out there too.
 We made it to the stage just in time.
 Even one of our signs made it too, rescued by a Mr Paul Daniels (not the magic one)
 Eggsy had put his all green outfit on and the crowd loved it.
 We even got them to do the conga, a bit.
 The crowd at V are always pretty good.
 And then it was done.
 All over as quick as it had begun.
 Then it was time to get smashed. Back at the back stage area we got a bloke to pour a bottle of sparkling wine into a bucket of piss.
 And then we got graham to drink it!
 It got late, stuff happened.
 It turns out it was all worth it, I found this on the internet the next day.
Finally we have been mentioned by someone in the same breath as TVs Joe Swash!

YES! !!

Friday, 29 August 2014

V Festival Weston Park 16th August 2014

 We had done a gig the night before and were traveling to a festival site so we needed a breakfast.

 Unfortunately they others didn't want to walk to the Secret Garden Cafe so we went to a cafe that had a 2 hygiene rating for breakfast. Not the best idea when you are going somewhere with only portabel toilets.
 We got in the van and drove to the services.
 And then before you could take you clothes off and put them back on again 1567 times we were at V Festival.
 DJ Killer Tomato get involved straight away in the massage area.
 Most of the other boys just sat in the dressing room / holding area.
 There was a game of kick the ball with a tennis ball 2Hats had bought from the services.
 After that we had a game of try and hit Adam in the face with the ball.
 Eventually it went over the security fence.
 Adam met a nice young lady.
 And Graham contemplated the world.
 Then it was time to go and find the stage.
 Eggsy never had problems making friends.
 There were a fair few people at the festival.

 We were told where the stage was and we started to make our way over.
 Graham met a guy with lipstick on, he wanted a photo.
 DJ KIller Tomato was trying his luck at getting girls to get naked.
 And Eggsy was hanging tough like NKOTB.
 No one seemed that interested in doing the conga though.
 DJ KIller Tomato was still trying to get someone to strip.
 It wasn't working even if he did get a girl to go on all fours and be investigated by a friend.
 Mike was... Mike.
 It was so not working for DJ KIller Tomat.
 Graham, on the other hand, was having a great time until people actually started trying to finger him.
 The sign seemed to cause some extreme reactions.
And Mike was almost enjoying himself.
 And Graham was still being fingered.
 Still no luck.
 Look, I'm in this one.
 By now people were actually calling the police.
 Eventually we made it to the stage and got into the holding are.
Graham was pooped after all the fingering.
The boys felt he hadn't quiet had enough though.
 And after a few digital insertions they had a pile on.
 We all calmed down and Mystikal got prepared to do the show.
 We went on and did some songs.
And someone gave Eggsy a rather large inflatable phallus.
 The crowd always love a good inflatable member.
 They were loving it.
 Everyone was having a good time except this guy down the front. It was probably coz he was drinking Carling.
 After the show 2Hats and Mike had a weird hug.
 Then we slammed in some posh food from the catering tent.
 We watched the lights from the headline act, can't remember who it was but the lights were good.
After we had a few soft drinks we got in the van and went to a travelodge to sleep peacefully as we were going to day two of V festival next!

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