Monday, 4 May 2015

Vantastival • Music Festival May 2nd May 2015

We were going to Birmingham Airport and thought the only way to travel is in Newport's own Dragon Taxis. The night before Eggsy, me, Adam, and Mike had been to see the first night of the Super Furry Animals in Cardiff so some of us were a bit worse for wear.







When we got to the Airport we discovered a new type of sex toy.

There were a lot of Hen party types and they had made a hybrid of a Evan Water and a pink dilly.
We walked around for 20 minutes and eventually found the departure lounge.
At security Mike realised he had brought his bottle of Blue Stratos, that he has had since 1994, with him and panicked thinking they might confiscate it. Luckily they just told him to put it in a small plastic bag.
We went straight to the pub, all good airports have a pub, which is usually better than your local, so you can get drunk at 7am.
They were doing food too and Graham had some weird egg thing.
Which he wasn't happy with so he had a burger straight after.
Graham had been hitting it quite hard recently and his tongue swelled up and had gone a funny color.
As usually they only flight that was delayed was ours, so we had more pints as Graham contemplated having another meal.
Eventually it turned up.
Adam was well on the way by now, and Mike was starting to feel a little nervous, he hasn't been on a plane in nearly 10 years.
The flight was swift and soon we were in Ireland at the point of no return.
We got picked up and driven to a posh hotel for naps.
DJ Killer Tomato tried on his new Traxedo. It was called the Dutchman.
And then it was time to go to the festival site.
It was raining and we had only been given 20 euro to pay the driver, when we got there he wanted 70 euro and the sight was a bog.
After haggling and a conversation or two we opted to walk the rest of the way with the aid of a design classic... the bin bag.
They took us to a sex caravan up the woods.
It was lush. I'm now booked in on a caravan holiday in Prestatyn for a fortnight next March coz it was such a great vibe.
DJ Killer Tomato had a few meals.
And then it was time to bag it up again.
And head to the holding area before we went on stage.
The arena was awesome and the crowd racked the party.
Then we slammed on the bin bags and went back to the caravan.
We sat in the caravan for 4 hours waiting for a taxi and DJ Killer Tomato got drunk then sobered up and in between lost a little bit of control.
We got back to the hotel at 5am and had to be up a 9am to check out.
Luckily they provided us with a full Irish breakfast.
And some delicious soda bread.
 Billy was having the best time of his life.
Adam went for the meat only option.
We all went to get our stuff together and went to get in the taxi to the airport. 30 minutes later Adam and Graham decided to join us.
At the airport we had a sharp Harp.
Then Adam and DJ Killer Tomato had a romantic meal and a bottle of wine.
Adam loves going abroard.
Adam and Graham bought six mini bottles of wine on the plane and Adam accidentally poured one of them over his crotch and made the whole plane small of cheap red wine.
It had been a weekend of Taxis and we drove back to Newport feeling pretty good that we had shared a bit of the love with the Irish. When we got back Billy and Adam went to see the 3rd night of the Super Furry Animals show in Cardiff.
It was a shame the festival ground was so muddy coz the festival was awesome. Thanks for having us Ireland!




Saturday, 22 November 2014

The Penny theatre Canterbury 3rd october 2014

 We were on the way to Canterbury so we decided to stop in a Windsor Leisure centre.
They have a great selection of snacks that all smell of chlorine.
 We grabbed the snacks and split.
 Coz we were on the way to Britain's biggest services.
 This truly was the main event, food from all around the world in one forecourt. Dipper and DJ Killer Tomato went for Mexican, Eggsy went for the Thai option.
 Mike didn't understand all the food options, got scared and had Mcdonalds.
 We got back on the bus and with in 15 minutes Graham was having to have a tinkle out the back door on the motorway.
 By the time we got there Graham's eyes were proper bloodshot.
 The crowd were banging and the gig was awesome.
 We had some stage guest, no idea who they were.
 After the gig Graham turned into Dave Grohl.
 Mike had a snap with a woman.
 And we met some of the people of Canterbury and the surrounding areas.
 It had been a good party.
 Big up!
 Billy got some women to help carry the gear back to the bus.
 And we drove to the nearest services.
 Where Mike spent 27 quid on the game.
He didn't win anything.

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